A tale of two cities

An aspiring transvestite club performer opens his door and finds - "what in the gay hell!?!"- a baby left on his doorstep. "He's a straight baby, but we can co-exist. I know it can be done." And the man proceeds to tell the baby a Grimm fairy tale. When this proves insufficient to stop the baby's crying, the man performs the entire narrative of Dickens' classic of the French revolution, playing all the roles male and female!